masculinity

“a man’s self-esteem remains precarious and demands that he put out of sight all reminders of his folly, of weakness, of mortality…” -gregory rochlin

as a single thirty-something male in the twenty-first century, i have experienced some of the challenges and wonders of manhood. though i suspect that there are others out there like me, i will only speak for myself, for i can only speak from personal experience, not knowing the minds and hearts of other men. i have felt the disappointment of unfulfilled expectations, the pain of love lost, the grief of death, the loneliness of life, and the longing for companionship as well as the desire for complete autonomy. i have also felt the pressure to show only strength, to hide my weaknesses and put on a good face for the world while i am falling apart inside. perhaps that is why i love super heroes; they swoop in to save the day single-handedly and then disappear into the mysterious darkness, to their isolation. no one sees their pain, their grief. no one holds them when they break down and no one knows their true identity. these super heroes permeate our society; every man an island unto himself, fighting a silent battle within.

“The testing of masculinity knows no bounds. Hence, the warrant to prove oneself remains a lifelong necessity. It is the case as much in manhood as it was in boyhood. It gives rise to many of man’s anxieties and failures as well as to his often extraordinary achievements. We shall find this the timeless case in a boy’s adventures as in a man’s enterprises.” -gregory rochlin